Do self-help books help depression?

“Books help those who want to help themselves.”

― Bert McCoy

Bibliophiles would agree that books really bring a change in our lives, be it a minor one or a gigantic one; a change is a change. You may read a story plot that gives you a lesson for life; meet a character that you relate to, or just see a sort of character development that leaves you bemused. Whatever it is, every book leaves an impact. 

There might stand hundreds of genres of books in a queue, but there will be those few genres which are duly loved and appreciated by the audience. A few of them that shall be named: Romance, Thriller, Murder mystery or most probably the crowning glory of the Non-fiction genre; SELF-HELPS! 

What is a self-help book did you ask? 

Self-help books, in simple words, are those books that are written to help the reader solve personal problems. In other clear-cut words, they can also be named Life Guidance books. 

A fun fact, the name 'Self-Help' itself was derived from a novel of the same name written by Samuel Smiles in the year 1859, and since then it became a branch in the huge tree of book genres. The genre is also widely known as 'Self-improvement' books which clarify the intention and the synopsis of these books. 

But the real question is; Do self-help books really help Depression? 

I mean, let's be honest, during the depression a person legit has the least amount of interest in doing any task be it eating, sleeping or working. Then why would a person want to read during this phase? 

Besides this fact, if a person does manage to convince oneself to read, wouldn't it be like telling a person going through depression that 'everything is fine', 'it is okay', 'you should see the positive' and etc. For a fact, a depressed person surely will not want to hear all of it. The state sometimes is so severe that they feel all of the bad emotions present in the world more dominantly and that too at once - restlessness, anxiousness, fear, guilt, sleeplessness, and most of all suicidal thoughts! 

Is it that easy for a person who constantly thinks about everything bad that has happened, and about hurting themselves, worst committing suicide to be okay after reading something? 

Agreed that they might help for self-growth, self-love, and self-improvement in terms of love, career and despair. But in depression, do they actually? 

If it was so easy to cure depression why would there actually be clinical treatments and psychologists? One can reckon to the fact that reading leaves an eternal impact, maybe more than hearing something, but when one doesn't read with their whole heart and attention, it never actually means anything. 

I won't say self-helps don't help at all, they do play a part, they might just make you a little more active and eager to be treated; to be all okay. But they definitely aren't the treatment themselves!

Depression, just like any other disease, requires your utmost attention, care and proper treatment. 

Self-help might be the medicine, but the therapy matters the most!

~ ***** ~ 

~ By MeeRa

(Meenal Singhal)

 

How can one detect Depression?

Profoundly known as a psychological disorder, madness for unenlightened and nescient, Depression, in general, is a mood disorder. People tend to relate it with some sort of madness which is actually exaggerating, sometimes understating it as a 'mere' state of stress. However, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), depression is -

'A negative affective state, ranging from unhappiness and discontent to an extreme feeling of sadness, pessimism, and despondency, that interferes with daily life. Various physical, cognitive, and social changes also tend to co-occur, including altered eating or sleeping habits, lack of energy or motivation, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, and withdrawal from social activities.'

This clearly underlines the fact that it is not a mere mood change, the short-term feeling of despair or sadness. Rather, the roots of the disorder run deep into the souls who suffer through this. Even though people usually undermine it, sometimes overstating it, it is because of the lack of awareness regarding mental disorders; mental health as well on a larger scale.


Humans have a tendency to take precautions and medicines to cure ailments that affect their physical being, but even the thought of being treated by a 'psychologist' make them feel embarrassed. Just the thought of people judging them as 'mental' or 'of unsound mind' create greater chaos in their minds, and that treatment becomes so much less of a priority for them.


Not just the suffering souls, but even the people around them fail to detect depression, either because the sufferers manage to hide it so efficiently, or they lack awareness.


Before we move on to the various factors that can help determine depression in a person, it is fundamental that we know how many types of depression are there -


A) Major Depression - This form of depression lasts long for a couple of weeks, say 2 weeks usually, however, the person completely loses the ability to work, sleep, eat or even do any small task due to the disturbed state of mind.

B) Persistent Depressive Disorder - Named Dysthymia as well, this form of depression can last over 2 years with less severe symptoms that might come for short while time and again.

One might be amused to learn that besides these two prominent forms of depression, there are other branches of this disorder which came to light over the last few years. These are not much talked about, hence people usually do not even believe in their existence.


1. Perinatal depression - This is when the woman suffers from depression during or after the pregnancy or the delivery. This is not usually talked about, hence people lack knowledge of the severity of this state. If too severe, there is even a risk to the mother and baby's health in this condition.
2. Seasonal Affective Disorder - People usually associate the seasons with emotions. Amusingly, this disorder states the same. This type of state occurs when one suffers from depression which begins at the beginning of fall (autumn) and lasts the whole winter.
3. Psychosis Depression - The most severe and turbulent of the lot, this state of depression includes the patient having delusions (false beliefs) and hallucinations (seeing things which others can't.)


One might be surprised to learn all these sorts of Depression that a person can have. But it is more appalling to learn the symptoms of this disorder which are not visible to the naked eye unless observed carefully.


Here are some important facts and symptoms of Depression that can help you detect it if you ever come across a case -

1. Observing feelings of hopelessness, sadness, anxiousness, pessimism, irritation, or restlessness in a person.
2. Changes in weight or appetite - it's a false belief that people lose their appetite in depression, rather people even start chronic eating in this state sometimes.
3. Aches, pains, headaches, cramps, digestive issues
4. Difficulty in sleeping, concentrating or doing any work
5. Fatigue and worthlessness; even feelings of guilt
6. The utmost important symptom which needs attention: suicidal thoughts/ attempt

If you ever witness these symptoms in people around you and want to help them, especially concerning people wanting to hurt themselves, there are various helpline numbers available that you can contact for help. The aforementioned symptoms are sometimes just regular mood changes, for these to be associated with depression, one must observe 2-3 symptoms out of all these daily for some time.

Depression isn't a valley that once you fall into it is the end, but it surely is a swamp which will suck you slowly into it. It is possible to come out of it, but it needs effort and patience in equal amounts. Getting treated for depression doesn't make anyone weak, be it emotionally or mentally.

This is what we all need to believe in, and also makes the people suffering this belief that if they aren't feeling fine; they will be fine!

Just a matter of time, some effort, patience and most significantly; proper treatment and medication!

~ ***** ~

Note - All the facts, symptoms and information mentioned in this blog are referred from the official domain of the National Institute of Mental Health. Please visit the website if you wish to learn more about Depression.


The picture above does not belong to me but to its respective owner.

~ By MeeRa

(Meenal Singhal)

THE STORY OF HELPING HUT NGO 

Hello everyone! 

I am back with another blog after a long break. Recently I started working with Helping Hut, an NGO that helps the needy in whatever way they can to bring a smile to people's faces. So, I thought why don't I share their story with all of you, that too from the man himself who started the NGO. 

Here it goes!

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My name is Raghvendra Pratap Singh, and I hail from Uttar Pradesh. Since childhood, I have seen people begging on the streets. Some children do not have bread, clothes, or even a house to sleep in, and I, on the other hand, was getting every best possible facility of education, health, and food. These very amenities made me value such things and sensitized me towards people who are without such necessities. Also, I saw videos of Varun Pruthi sir, in which he used to give gifts to beggars instead of money. I was motivated by him and the sight of young children begging for money to make India a beggar-free country.

 I started helping Hut NGO, which became the first step towards making India a beggar-free country. I have the vision to make India such a country, where every person has a job and, instead of begging, he is capable to earn his basic needs. Along with this, our organization started a campaign to make people aware of beggars, in which they were informed that instead of giving money to beggars, they should provide them with food to eat or other necessities.

Apart from this, I believe that education is the most powerful weapon in this era through which we can make our country self-reliant and beggar-free. Keeping this in mind, I started "Udaan-Street School" with our tireless volunteers, under which we are teaching 250+ students at different places every day and also developing basic moral values among them. Along with this we also organize fun activities for kids like drawing competitions, food competitions, various games, etc.

At the time of Covid, I tried to form teams in almost every city of India under Helping Hut with my volunteers, and in the end,  teams of more than 200 volunteers were formed in 15 to 20 cities. Following this, we created a helpline number, through which people used to contact oxygen cylinders and other medical facilities. Our team used to provide the goods as per the requirement in the shortest possible time to the distressed.

Currently, under Helping Hut, we have teams in more than 10 cities of India with over 750 volunteers registered. We celebrated the 2nd anniversary of Helping Hut on 1st July 2022, in different cities by conducting various activities.

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I hope you liked reading about the NGO and how it aims to bring a change in the life of the people who are underprivileged. You can read more about them on their official website - https://helpinghutngo.in/

Or get to know them through their social media pages:-

Twitter - https://twitter.com/helping_hut

Linkedin - https://in.linkedin.com/company/helpinghut

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/helpinghutngo/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/p/CGWd-U2j3LO/

“No one has ever become poor by giving.”

–Anne Frank

 

It is often quoted that taking even small steps of philanthropy leads to having an abode in heaven. But if I were to rephrase it, then I would say 'Small steps of philanthropy not only leads to having an abode in heaven, but also making other's life a nirvana. Try giving teaching an underprivileged child how to draw, write, read or dance, feed a stomach that hasn't consumed any food in 12 hours, give a home to that animal who look for a shelter in rain and see the heart-whelming happiness and satisfaction you'll experience at their pleasure. Yes, even small acts of kindness make a big difference, might not in your life but in other's life it surely does. 

 

If you're confused about where to start? Or you don't know where is that place that can help you in making a difference in other's life?  Or even you're looking for that platform that can guide you forward? 

#LivingMyPromise is just that platform. A community of people (Indians) who share your zeal and desire of providing the society by giving 50% or more of their wealth and fortune to philanthropic causes either through their will or during their whole lifetime. The people involved inspire each other to participate in different causes and to do the right thing. Anyone affluent who has a net worth of above 1 crore can make this promise. 

The reason it is for people with a net worth of more than 1 crore is basically to ensure that the people who are promising and associating with them contribute a significant amount of money to charity without affecting their pocket or lifestyle as well. 

At present, a lot of people are associated with the initiative promising their half or more than half fortune towards charitable activities. The initiative works efficiently towards different causes by organizing events often. The recently conducted past events by them are:-
1) The young too can be givers - An event to know what are the views of generation z and millennials towards charity, philanthropy and inheritance.
2) Dolphin Tank - An event inspired by the Shark Tank to support young NGO start-ups and many more.

One can find more information about the initiative through the following handles:-
A) Official Website - https://livingmypromise.in/
B) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/livingmypromise/?hl=en
C) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/livingmypromise

Joining the initiative will not only bring a change in other's life but yours as well. Before I end this blog I can certainly say the people associated are really winning hearts and adding just good wishes along with blessings from all the people whose lives changed for the better. 

 

Thanks for all your kindness, love and thoughtfulness #LivingMyPromise! 

- By MeeRa

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Note: The pictures used in this blog does not belong to me rather to the LivingMyPromise initiative and other respective owners. The poster used here is my own work on the other hand and I own the copyrights for the poster.

 

PROTAGONIST SUPREMACY ALL AROUND!

“Perfect heroines, like perfect heroes, aren't relatable, and if you can't put yourself in the protagonist's shoes, not only will they not inspire you, but the book will be pretty boring.”

-          Cassandra Clare

What do you understand by a Protagonist? What is that one thing that clicks in your mind when you come across this word? The main character, the hero/heroine, the person or character around whom the story revolves – aren’t these the thoughts that occurs in your mind? If further, then maybe the character which should have the most character development by the end of the story. But have you ever considered the fact, that writers often tend to leave any scope of character development in some stories by making the protagonists either ‘Godly’ – who are patients of protagonist syndrome believing themselves to be the supreme power or ‘God-like’ – who are astonishingly the most righteous, kind, walks on the path of higher level of spirituality, not even voicing against the unfair because that would be too rude!☺😅

This supremacy of the main characters we commonly refer to as protagonists sometimes makes me miss relatable and reliable characters to some extent. Now, I was aiming to pen this down since a long time, but I was short of examples somehow. Though, recently my Granny solved this problem unintentionally by watching some of her Indian daily soaps in front of me making me have enough examples to highlight in this blog.

So, here are some of the different story mediums highlighting the supremacy issue in characters and some of the over-rated, vague and disappointing writing techniques which are used to show the importance and ascendancy of the supreme torch-bearer of the stories –

A)    Indian Daily Soaps – Now, I don’t want to highlight my utter dislike towards serials, but I can’t overlook the fact I got a lot to say on these stories. Stories which would start from women empowerment, career prospects, dedication, struggle and all the different malpractices in the country. But would somehow end up in two girls fighting over a single guy, trying to harm each other so that he somehow accepts them as their life partner and all the ladies being pure evil in one way or other. Not to forget the habit of treating male characters as props, who would stand in background watching all this drama with a dramatic music playing in background (Dhoom tananana😂😂). As if the only thing left in a girl/guy’s life is to conquer (okay not literally) the person he/she loves. Then what is the whole point of showing someone’s empowerment when his/her whole life is shown dependent on the partner.
Not to forget, the extreme need of having ridiculously negative female leads with hideous bindis who would plan and plot, girls/guys who are supposed home-wreakers, and can even plan murders oh-so efficiently. Furthermore, the main point of this write-up, supremacy of the main characters where they would be shown so righteous and naïve that whatever they say or do – if even absurd and pointless – it would be the most correct thing to do in this whole damn world. Just to quote an example, I saw a glimpse of a serial today with Nani, where the female lead gave proposed a business marketing idea and the supposed villain too did. If we analyze the whole business situation, target audience and the plan, the female lead’s plan was shown the most effective even though the negative lead had the more effective plan. Just because, yeah we know, the naïve, perfect, righteous and obedient female leads are alwaysssssssssssssssss right?!😕😕

B)    Books/ Novels – Here, I won’t be talking about some respected authors and their published work because honestly I never find these issues in their stories but definitely in online stories and books which I have read around 200 by now. The most prominent problem in these is degrading the side or passer-by characters to showcase the supremacy of the main character. Remember those instances in stories, when a male billionaire would always have female employees who would be dying to grab their attention, accused of being after the main lead’s property, money and fame and being dressed like sluts? And then a girl enters who would be different from all these employees, the man would fall in love with her because she is oh-so different and then they would go play house-house. Perfect story, isn’t it? Has anyone ever wondered that to show the distinguished personality, authors practically tend to defame a mass of people. A person’s distinguished personality should never be dependent on the mass’s vicious traits (specially stereotypical, untrue and fake). Let’s just not forget, the tendency of showing the most righteous women would end up with a son of a devil often. And that, that man would somehow end up turning a saint by the end of the story losing all the character’s essence. No doubt, the term ‘opposite’s attract’ is over-rated in stories. Why having a negative character with all the relatable traits is still amusing for readers and people?

C)    Movies – I don’t think I even need to explain this much! The story is as same as the other two, the negative character would die the most painful death by the ‘HERO’ of the movie. And if a story is based on a villain, either he would end up dead, mad, prisoned, or losing his lover by the end of the story. Fine, I get the idea of truth, honesty and kindness being always triumphant but atleast writers should leave fictions sometimes. Honestly speaking, the negative characters add life to the story for me, because it’s really tiring to see heroes too good to be true, and people worshiping them.

Not just these, but stories all across us have these things somewhere or the other. My question here is, “Is supreme characters more important? Or relatable characters?”

My own answer would be relatable! I think most of us here would say, Relatable! But then, why a girl in serials who won’t talk back to elders is supreme, but someone who would point out the unfair, does not want to live within a family, and is not all about love is bad? Why a male character who is a gentlemen is supreme? And the man who is shown having drawbacks like insecurities, dark secrets, anger issues and selfishness is wrong? (Actually, selfishness is portrayed wrong more than often when in reality the whole world is somewhat selfish) No doubt, old daily soaps were loved because it had the perfect bahu’s and female characters in stories.

These stories impact us a lot in real life, whether we tend to agree or not. This supremacy factor makes people doubt that whether they are the protagonists of their own stories. If they are, then why so imperfect? They forget we as people and people as characters are supposed to be imperfect, that’s the whole point of character development. Either the person would turn more imperfect (nothing bad with it) or become a better person.

Perfect/Supreme characters are over-rated! Relatable, reliable and specially REAL characters who’re imperfect and flawed are the ones our stories need now.      

- by MeeRa 💖💓

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Note - The picture uploaded in this blog is not owned by me, but to its rightful owners! And this blog is not meant to hurt someone's sentiments or insult anybody's creativity or works, its just my opinion on the common scenarios in stories. 

 

That guy in a hoodie!

Author’s POV

The evidence of the heavy rain could be seen on the roads of Delhi, with puddles on streets and corners, water dripping down the roofs, trees and plants, animals sitting in the shelter while the carts were covered with plastic sheets to avoid the commodities getting drenched. People were still walking with umbrellas due to the light drizzling and a soft breeze in the air. 

 

It was almost night when Tanya came out from her office building and stood under the shade of the bus stand, waiting for her daily router to arrive at its fixed time. She was fumbling with her jet black umbrella when her phone rang cutting through the shrilly silence. Groaning, she took it out and the number just made her groan louder if that was possible. It was the same unknown number that was pestering her for the last few days. She would pick up the incoming, call out the person until her throat would literally beg her to give up, then shouting some colorful words would cut it. This was the routine for a few months, she has almost blocked a ton of numbers but the calls just wouldn’t stop. Somewhere she even knew who was doing this and having fun at her misery and it made her shiver unconsciously. 

 

Why can’t he just leave her alone! 

 

She thought to herself, gritting her teeth thinking that she would have to encounter him as soon as she hops down the bus near her house. She was busy dreading thinking about the impending encounter she would do, similar to every night. 

 

Her thoughts were brought to a halt with the sound of an engine and the tires screeching, her head snapped towards the automatic gates opening of her daily bus. Deciding to shake away her thoughts, she scrambled up to it and got in quickly. She thanked her stars, seeing the bus almost empty, meaning she would at least get to rest her tired self, till her house. 

 

Sitting on the window seat in extreme front, she rested her stuff on the vacant seat beside her and switching her phone, decided to spend the time till her home hearing her favorite playlist. As the songs buzzed through the earphones, the soft tunes and vocals soothing her, of course, when it’s raining who would want to listen to loud beats and dancing stuff. Rainy nights and slow reverberating music is the best combo according to her. She sighed resting her head on the window as she saw droplets shining on the glass. 

 

She could see her reflection in the mirror, and what she witnesses didn’t make her too happy or ecstatic. She could see the tiredness on her face, fine lines coming along due to all the stress, puffy eyes – a result of sleepless nights – and dark circles underneath them. Unconsciously she raised her hand, and caresses the skin under her eyes, before closing them feeling utterly distressed. 

 

She knew all these weren’t due to everyday stress, hectic schedule, or busy life, the reason was a different one altogether. The reason was him! And she hated that how that one person has managed to pirouette her whole life with his shenanigans. 

 

Raking her hand through her hair she thought,

 

When will this get over? Why can’t he just leave me alone? 

 

But as usual, she didn’t receive any answer from the deadly silence. Sighing, she just waited for her stop, and to her dismay, it didn’t take more than five minutes for her to reach. Paying her charge, she got down and again opened the umbrella shading herself underneath it. 

 

Just as she started walking, she heard the usual sound of footsteps behind her. Her heartbeat rose as she heard the familiar frantic footsteps behind her. Her walk turned to a sprint in a second, trying to look back as discretely as she could. 

 

And there he was, in the usual black hoodie that covered his face too, following behind her. She could feel herself sweating even in the breezy weather and her throat turning dry. She gulped loudly due to fear and shrieked as she collided with someone. 

 

Quickly apologizing, she didn’t even wait for a second and again started sprinting, but she could feel the man hot on her tail. Tears started racing down her face, as the man was just some footsteps behind her. She cried out as her foot collided with a stone there in the middle of the street, but what made her panic more was the shrill laughter behind her, and muttering in the dark,

 

“Careful, love!” 

 

She gasped and ran towards the house crying loudly. Reaching her street, she straight away went to the threshold of her house, and frantically rang her bell looking behind every second. And just like usual, the man stood there on the end of the street looking straight at her. She could feel him piercing holes in her body and again rang the bell. Breathing a sigh of relief as the door finally opened, she saw her concerned mother who was shocked seeing her in this state. 

 

“Tanya! What happened? You look so disheveled!”                                                                    

 

Her mother gasped seeing her daughter looking like she just ran a marathon, gasping for breath. Crying, she came inside and threw herself in her mother’s arms not even acknowledging her father who came there too due to the commotion. 

 

“Mom! Mom! He w….was..aga..again…followi..following me. I told…yo...you both. But you…you guys didn’t listen…..he is stalking me for long.” 

 

Her father looked at his crying daughter sadly, his heartbeat rising in fear for her. Patting her head, he tried to say, 

 

“We believe you, Tanya! Stop crying now, I promise we’ll go tomorrow to the police station and file a complaint. Now stop crying, my dear!” 

 

Tanya nodded, as her father hugged her while her mother just went to the gate to look if the stalker guy was there. Pacifying Tanya, her father sent her to the room before joining his wife on the gate and sighed seeing no one standing there. Her mother said through a heavy throat,

 

“Again? A stalker this time? This is getting serious Mahesh!” 

 

Her father nodded, but replied, voice dripping with agony, “But what can we do Smita? Her hallucinations just won’t end! She is schizophrenic, not some patient suffering through a fever that can be cured in a day or a week.” 

 

Smita closed her eyes, wondering why only her child had to go through all this, when Mahesh kept a hand on her shoulder consoling her, “Still don’t worry, I’ll discuss this with the doctor.” 

 

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Tanya came out of the bath after freshening up and crying for an hour in the shower, dressed in her nightclothes. She sniffed, still feeling discomfort and not able to calm down after her encounter. 

 

Standing in front of the mirror, she was drying her hair when her face paled and eyes went wide seeing the same hoodie guy, her stalker’s reflection in her mirror standing just near the window in her room. She could feel her heart palpating at a high rate, and sweat again dripping down her forehead. 

 

“Who..Who ar..are you? Wh..What do you …want?” 

 

She asked stammering, when she saw him grinning through that hoodie, as he spoke in his husky deadly voice sending tremors down her spine, 

 

“Missed me? Love!” 

 

And as he took a step making a move, she wailed loudly grabbing the first thing she got and banged it into the mirror breaking it into shreds. Her legs felt jelly, as she fell on the floor, near the sharp shreds not even caring about them piercing in her knees and clutched her head before finally passing out due to exhaustion muttering, as his footsteps neared,

 

“Please, leave me alone! Please!”

 

-          By MeeRa  

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Note:- The pictures used in this story does not belong to me but to their rightful owners.

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